We do apologise that we have been silent on the blog for a couple
of months. We have taken this time away from the Tanzania blog as we walked a
different journey through my (Tim’s) Dad’s illness and subsequent death on 2
April 2016 in the UK.
He had been diagnosed in January 2015 with a brain tumour
and underwent surgery to remove the tumour in March. He
made an excellent recovery and returned to a full life including resuming his
work and other activities. However, the surgeon did say the tumour would come
back and this was confirmed with new lesions in the brain being shown up on his
scan this January.
So, we landed in the UK on 19 March and were able to spend
time with Dad each day, along with other family members, first in the hospital
and then later in the hospice. Those 2 weeks I will treasure.
Each of those days with Dad was a gift in which we sought to
enjoy him and encourage him. I was impressed by how our girls, Amisadai and
Louisa, quickly adjusted from expecting to receive from Grandad (he had always
given them so much) to what they could give to him, even as his faculties were
shutting down. It was obvious that his time with them and his other grandchildren was a
highlight of his final days and brought him and them real joy.
So in fact we consider our time there was rich and precious.
Even with the tears and sadness, we are filled with gratitude and joy. So many friends
reached out to us with generosity and kindness and we were blessed with special
time with family. And Mum went out of her way after Dad’s funeral to make that
last week in England as happy and fun as possible for Amisadai and Louisa with
days out, delicious treats and many hot chocolates in Costa Coffee!
Over the past month, I have been reflecting on what a gift
my Dad has been to me. To me he was a splendid Dad. I couldn’t have asked for
any more. I’ve enjoyed reading and finding comfort in the cards and messages so
many people have sent. And I can even say I enjoyed his funeral, learning many
things about him. In this time of loss, I am aware there is much to gain. As I
remember who he was, already there are things in my life I wish to adjust. These
are some of his qualities I appreciate:
First, his cheerfulness. All the way
through, right up to the end, he maintained this posture of cheerfulness. As a
Christian there is no point talking about God giving you joy if it’s not
evident in your life. Joy is what gives you strength to keep going and the foundation
of joy is gratitude.
Second, was his love for all people. This was especially so
for both those who had experienced extremely hard times and those from other countries.
He reached out to help them and they in turn blessed him greatly. He was kind
and generous –with his words, his time and his money.
Third, awareness of his weaknesses. He was a humble man who
often referred to the points in his life which needed work and he did just
that… he worked at those points. His character got better with time and reached
its fullness in the last few years of his life.
Fourth, was his desire to seek/grant forgiveness and find
reconciliation. Being reconciled mattered more to Dad than feeling he was
right. And having the courage to seek reconciliation meant being willing to
discover that he, as well as the other, may have been part of the problem. In a
broken world this is a much-needed quality.
Fifth, his willingness to reconsider his views and beliefs
and see them reworked and expressed differently. He understood that we all see
through a glass darkly. In a rapidly changing world this is essential to being
effective.
Sixth, he gave himself to what was life-giving and fruitful
and leaving other things. He believed he had a contribution to make to the
lives of others. He long continued working part time because he valued the
company which did business the right way with good objectives.
And seventh, servant leadership. In his leadership in both
church and business, power for him was to be used for the benefit of others, to
see them developed and take their place.
To me, all these qualities were some of the gifts that Dad
gave… his legacy.
As my Mum and I left the hospice for the last time, she
said, “You know what Dad would say? Get on with your life!” In this period of
coming to terms with his death, by God’s grace I hope to do this, adding these
qualities of his, and so living more fruitfully back here in Tanzania.
Wonderful words about a wonderful man. Guess we will get on with our lives on earth until we meet again in heaven. Blessings to Tim. Geoff
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your journey with us. God bless you all in all you do in Tanzania and may you find rest and peace and time to remember your dad over the coming months as you continue this next season of your journey. We all send much love xxxx
ReplyDeleteprecious and true.... thank you Tim
ReplyDeletemany blessings Tim your dad was so much part of my history. .. I was looking at some old slides and found a photo of him at Mr Harrows 100th birthday!! he was and is a wonderful man. .. we are and were both blessed to have such amazing god fearing parents. . xx
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