In Shaddai's Shadow

You who sit down in the High God’s presence,

    spend the night in Shaddai’s shadow,
Say this: “God, you’re my refuge.
    I trust in you and I’m safe!”

These words (and more following) were sent to us in the hospital by a friend during this rather traumatic week and we have been repeating this poet's words!

Amisadai's name comes from the Hebrew, Ammishadai, or Ammi' (meaning people/kinsmen/kindred) of Shaddai (the Almighty). And on Wednesday night, these words of spending the night in Shaddai's shadow and saying "I'm safe!" became particularly real for us!

On Wednesday, I was in a Mwanza hospital with Amisadai, who was in so much pain, trying to turn away from the blood-stained walls, the needles in her arm, the uncertainty of all that was happening so quickly, and fear of what the next day might bring. And yet, in this hospital, in the darkness, with power cutting on and off as a huge thunderstorm storm raged behind the mosquito mesh on the window, we were in Shaddai's shadow and He was our refuge.

Let me go back a little … As I blogged in the last post, as coronavirus arrived in Tanzania, Amisadai was just arriving back with Tim from Kenya after having knee surgery to reconstruct a new ACL from tendons in her hamstring. All had been progressing very well with pain decreasing and mobility improving… until last Friday when she began to feel increasing pain in her knee. The pain became steadily worse and by Monday, even on the strong pain killers, she was in so much pain, her temperature had gone up and we were concerned about infection in the graft. We are so incredibly thankful for a good friend here who is a doctor and he was able to get her on antibiotics and put us in touch with an orthopaedic surgeon here in Mwanza. We were also in contact with her surgeon from Nairobi, but with Coronavirus, all borders were closing and flights halted. It was difficult to know what to do. 

One thing coronavirus is doing right now across the western world is shake people's certainty of what is in their control and what is safe. Living in a different culture to our own, we actually feel we made the personal choice to lose a sense of that certainty when we moved here! And we don't have our own certainty about very much most of the time ... and are pretty ok with that! But here this week, COVID19 still managed to shake that little piece of security that was in the thought that we could always just go somewhere... a Nairobi hospital, or UK or Canada. But now we couldn't ... or even if we could manage to get to another hospital in another country, we knew the chances of getting back home to Tanzania was very unlikely until coronavirus lock-downs were relaxed. So where is our certainty? Where is our refuge?

After a fluid aspiration at the hospital on Tuesday and Amisadai's pain and sickness worsening with a temperature, on Wednesday we admitted her to the hospital to get her straight on IV antibiotics. From the moment Amisadai was carried up a long flight of stairs in a wheelchair by three men (no elevators!), we realised that this was a very different experience to all previous hospital experiences! Here in Tanzania, the relatives or friends of the patient must meet all personal needs … so we came prepared with plenty of water, soap and of course the now legendary COVID19  toilet paper! I had grabbed some plain biscuits and a bar of our rationed chocolate (as I didn't expect Tim to bring us chai and chapatis the next morning) and plenty of khangas for our beds or drying ourselves or any of the million things a khanga is always useful for!

Getting around was not easy!

Thursday was the hardest day. We had so many doctors and nurses coming through; I think we counted 28 different medical staff asking us the same questions and the confusion was rather overwhelming. We read Psalm 91 several times throughout the day, as there were more blood tests, as we waited for synovial fluid and blood culture results, as Amisadai lay exhausted and vomiting in the pain and nausea. We read it as we waited for ages in an ultrasound room after making the difficult descent back downstairs for another draining for testing of fluid, which then was decided against due to the risk of further infection prodding about in the inflamed knee. Several times nurses came to prepare Amisadai for emergency surgery to open up her knee to drain and clean out the infection. But at the same time, Tim was at home, trying to communicate with our friend Rob in Mwanza, the orthopaedic doctor in Mwanza, our surgeon in Kenya and our insurance company in the UK about what the best option was and where we should be.

We didn't know where we would be at the end of that day. But we knew that Shaddai was our refuge and we were safe to trust Him. We were also reminded of this truth by the prayers and encouraging messages sent to us by so many dear friends from Mwanza and all across the world. And truly He heard our cry!

She tried a tea biscuit for breakfast …! 

Our three tremendous doctors agreed they did not need to proceed with cutting open her knee, which was such a huge answer to prayer! Amisadai stayed on IV antibiotics for three days, but she was released to go home to then return the following day to the hospital for another dose. We now keep close watch as she continues on oral antibiotics as well as strong painkillers and anti-inflammatories. We are just waiting to start her on a course of antibiotics tomorrow to specifically attack the staphylococcus aureus. But it has been wonderful to see her improving so quickly! The swelling is down, her temperature is normal, she is no longer nauseous or in pain. We are so thankful!

Louisa came to support Amisadai for the final IV antibiotics

Often fear, the fear of the unknown, the worry of what might come, the anxiety coming from things being out of our control can be hard to overcome. The fear of septic arthritis and all that could follow was a fear. The feeling of being trapped by borders, the fear of surgery, of confused medications or diagnosis.  And I think fear is so real for so many right now as COVID19 stalks the globe. Health, finances, education … they were all things that seemed so secure in the West, yet now suddenly there is insecurity and uncertainty. There is sickness and death and there is financial stress. But I hope that if you are reading this and feeling a sense of fear or worry, that Psalm 91 would also encourage you as it did for us this week! Certain of one good thing … Shaddai's shadow.

His huge outstretched arms protect you—
    under them you’re perfectly safe;
    his arms fend off all harm.
Fear nothing—not wild wolves in the night,
    not flying arrows in the day,
Not disease that prowls through the darkness,
    not disaster that erupts at high noon.

Psalm 91 (The Message)

From Knees to COVID-19 in Mwanza

Since, our last blog post, the entire world has been taken over by events out of all human control with the coronavirus. So much information, fact and fiction as well as emotions ranging from panic and fear to selfless kindness, has been flying across social media. I feel crazy even trying to add to the insane overload of coronavirus "news." It is honestly all too much for anyone to naturally cope with.

But given the almost frantic need for communication in this time of isolation, I felt I should update on what's happening with us here in Tanzania!

First of all, we as a family are just very grateful to all be back together again after all that had been happening pre-corona! On arriving in Nairobi a couple of weeks ago, Amisadai discovered she had actually ruptured her ACL and so needed replacement surgery. And so, just a few days later, (after making the most of ice cream, coffee and croissants!) her brilliant doctor constructed a new ligament, taken from her hamstring, to her knee. Some days later when she was fit to travel, coronavirus hit Kenya and then we were concerned not only about Tim getting a visa to get into Tanzania but also both of them being allowed in with the new buzz about travel restrictions. Thankfully there were no problems getting home and Tim is now a tourist visiting his own home and family for a few months! And so there you have some good news in the midst of so much bad news!

Making the most of Nairobi! Milkshakes and ice creams...

Recovering at home!

So where are things now? Much as things have been for you all, wherever you are in the world, everything has changed so very quickly. Last Sunday, Louisa and I were waiting at the airport for Tim and Amisadai to appear out of Immigration. We were closely watching all that was happening with COVID-19 across the world, but there was nothing happening in Tanzania. And then on Monday the first case of coronavirus arrived in Tanzania. On Tuesday late afternoon, all schools were closed. And so on Wednesday, school at home began and our mamas group met to close up the workshop.

School at home is actually better for Amisadai as she is still in such a lot of pain (despite all the drugs she is on!) and has to lie keeping her leg elevated. Louisa is managing just fine, cracking on with all her schoolwork. But we have done this school at home business before… so this really isn't so strange or panicky for us!

But it has still been a strange week. On one hand, the coronavirus has actually been very far away (Dar, Zanzibar and Arusha) and we haven't personally known a single person with it anywhere in the world. But at the same time it felt so close and threatening. Life in many ways was so much the same ... like a school holiday but with extra homework, with the same little frustrations like flooding downstairs and constant power-cuts, but eating slightly better meals as I was home with extra time to plan and cook! But life in many ways was also so different, the uncertainty of what would happen here if the virus spreads, the questions about whether Amisadai would now write GCSEs, quick decisions being made by friends about whether to stay or go, and friends leaving Mwanza without time to say goodbye. Some people have asked if we would leave Tanzania … personally, we are absolutely fine. It is so much easier for us than so many Tanzanians. We are not at risk healthwise, we have a comfortable home in which we can self-isolate, we have bought a sack of flour, rice and beans and have chickens in the garden and are well used to being flexible in adverse situations! We know that Tanzania is where we should be .. and realise that may be for longer than we had planned, depending on how country isolation goes.

Now as the number of cases has just shot up to 12 in Tanzania, we pray earnestly for this country with all the others. Tanzania reportedly has one of the poorest healthcare systems. Social distancing for people that live in such close proximity, sharing bedmats, toilet holes and water supply, is almost impossible. Most people here do not have hand sanitizer and even handwashing with clean water and soap can be difficult for many. In all towns and cities, daladalas (local busses) are overcrowded with people travelling in every direction. So many live hand-to-mouth and cannot afford to stock up on supplies or avoid crowded markets. In large towns and cities they cannot afford not to work. And all worry about the price of staples going up.

As I met with the mamas group, we were all sad to see our work stop. The plans for a shop and honey centre have been frustrated, the upcoming craft fairs cancelled and the shops across the country who sell our products are all closed. As their sales and income stop, the mamas also see prices rising and all are worried. We all went to the bank together and each woman was able to withdraw some money and then I dropped them all off at the market and they bought what food supplies they could before we parted ways.

We must all do our best now to prevent the worst. While handwashing stations have gone up in Mwanza and handshaking has been discouraged, it is troubling to see people continuing as normal without any social distancing.

A hand-washing station outside the Rock City Mall

Today Emmanuel, our health and sanitation worker on Kome Island, gave teaching to the church on hand-washing and coronavirus prevention. We pray for wisdom for our team to know what to do for the best for the people and communities we work with as this week progresses. 

And you all, our friends around the world, all struggling with coronavirus in slightly different ways, are in our thoughts and prayers.

And just so you all know … in case you were a little bit worried about us here … there is plenty of toilet paper here in Mwanza!

A Hand on my Shoulder

So Tim has left the country! And Amisadai is leaving tomorrow. And Louisa and I are holding the fort here ... barely!

Tim has been in Nairobi, Kenya for the past week and has been enjoying croissants and coffee to while away the time! But I believe he did do some work in the coffee shops! And today he has presented for his second year at the Africa Society of Evangelical Theology Conference! His paper from last year is being published and we are looking forward to getting the book!

Tomorrow Amisadai is flying by herself on crutches to join him in Nairobi! She's more worried about getting the visa than managing on the crutches … but I'm sure it will all be fine! That line has been my motto for years, but I'm using it noticeably less these days! Amisadai will see an orthopedic surgeon about her torn ligament on Monday. We hope we will see things have healed well over the past month on crutches and she can simply go for an appointment with a physiotherapist and be back on her way home next week with Tim. We also hope they will successfully arrive in this country. I say no more!

Meanwhile Louisa and I are sort of holding the fort. Louisa has been brilliant and very patient (most of the time!), picking up the slack where Amisadai can't do things, and helping Amisadai every day with jobs and carrying and fetching. I had never realised how much Amisadai did until she couldn't do it! But things are collapsing a little bit and to be quite honest, this has been one of the most exhausting and stressful months in a long time! Visa issues, injuries, power cuts and downstairs flooding aside, we have had a lot going on and more than the usual number of challenges! Without going into all the problems, I can tell you most of them are connected with trying to get Upendo wa Mama registered and licensed to run The Hive, a new shop and honey centre. In summary, … weeks and weeks of forms, different forms, new forms, more copies, constitutions, amendments, trips to offices, come back tomorrow, come back tomorrow, try again next week, network is down. Then the previous tenants refuse to leave … And then add in our builder getting attacked, a woman coming at me with a large saw and me bursting into tears in a parking lot and an art classroom (those were all separate events). This isn't even half of it! And being unwell for a week with Tim away hasn't helped! Needless to say it now counts as major success if we have some kind of food to eat or clean clothes to wear! And I wouldn't dare show you a photo of our bathroom which is completely over-run by dirty beesuits which are in the slow process of "being washed"! 

But as things collapse around me, my own strength completely runs out, and uncertainty about most things hovers, it has been a good time to remember with Ezekiel, that in those times in the valley, the hand of the Lord is on my shoulder. I know others who have been walking through bigger valleys than mine recently, but whatever the valley or the wilderness, the truth is the same. His presence is always with us. We don't have to carry everything. We can give it all to Him. And I have asked myself the question, "Am I willing to trust Him with what I can't control? And repeated to myself the truth that "He alone is able." Yes, it is all about what He has done, is doing and He will do. Not me! 

But problems aside, we have also had some good things happening! A few weeks ago we had a  whole EITZ team retreat, which although a lot of work, was wonderful! Our colleagues from Iringa came up and Andy and Angela from the UK came over! There are about twenty of us now and then all the kids as well. I love this team!

The Fabulous EITZ Team! 

So very good to be back with this special couple!

We all went for a couple of days by the Serengeti for a short retreat. The Tanzanian teammates enjoyed a game drive which was a first for all of them! And then we had time to reflect together on what it means to be one body. And it was a precious time of getting to know one another better, listening to God's leading for us as a team and enjoying food and fun as well! We had some rather riotous rounds of Pit! 

Meeting in the shade of the trees

We then all came back to Mwanza and had a more practical meeting day here and then field visits on the last day. It was great to visit Kayenze to see what is happening in the entrepreneurship, beekeeping and agriculture groups and then go to Igombe and Nyakato to meet many of the girls in the girls health project. It is always so encouraging for everyone when the group members are given the opportunity to talk to visitors about the project and what it means to them as a community or individuals!

Last week we had Phil Grant staying with us from Bees Abroad UK. We had never met before, and it was great opportunity to talk about what we are doing here in the Mwanza region in beekeeping and to see how we can link better with Bees Abroad and those they are working with in Tanzania. We visited the Mamas group one day ... and I'll write more about the Mamas in another post! On Friday we took him to see the beekeeping project in Ngudu. After their amazing start of hive colonization, it was disappointing to see that they had lost a number of colonies because of wasps and ants. But we are praying for the hives to be filled with honey over these next few months before the harvest. After checking the hives, Pastor Emmanuel invited us to his home where Mama Deborah had prepared a delicious lunch for us and the beekeepers!

Phil with the Ngudu Beekeepers

We are also now realising that with all the churches we work with in this area, it is going to take many weeks to see them all before we leave. While we are not saying goodbye yet, we realise we may well be having our last Sunday services with some dear people.

Louisa has always been Pastor Tito's special friend!

 Here they are with Pastor Tito's lovely new wife!

Last Sunday we went with Bhatendi to the Igumumoyo church. After the service and before a huge lovely lunch at Pastor Emmanuel's house, we went to see how the demonstration shamba was doing. And it's time for another agricultural "comparison photo!" I am still always amazed at the great difference a few changes can make!

Bhatendi with the maize intercropped with jackbeans

Immediately adjacent in the same field with the same farmer and the 

same seeds planted at the same time … but no jackbeans!

Intercropped peanuts also helping!

Ready for lunch!